


new Normal

by Sparklez112



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Also Yeojin being cute but that's her default setting, Anxiety, Discusses mental health, F/F, Fluff, Lots of pillow fights, Sooyoung and Haseul just being cute, Team as Family, Yveseul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26365408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparklez112/pseuds/Sparklez112
Summary: Sooyoung and Haseul didn't exactly have a label for their relationship... but whatever it was, it was familiar to the both of them.When Haseul returns from her hiatus, she and Sooyoung navigate how they feel about each other after spending seven months apart.(Yveseul + Yeojin centric, with a few of the members sprinkled in here and there.)
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves & Im Yeojin, Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jo Haseul, Im Yeojin & Jo Haseul
Kudos: 39





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**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! I've been an orbit for a few months now, and this is my first fic for the fandom. I'm still not confident in my ability to write romantic relationships, but I thought I'd give it a shot with Yveseul. I hope I produced something somewhat enjoyable. 
> 
> Stay happy and healthy Haseul, we miss you and love you lots <3

The chaotic Blockberry practice room was, for once, quiet and orderly.  
It was uncomfortable.

The sound of blasting music and bustling footsteps were done away with. Instead, Sooyoung, along with all of her members, were sitting in scattered positions around the room. Their eyes kept apprehensively trailing to the door.

Seven months.  
Seven months was way too long to be without their leader.  
But today was the day Haseul would finally return to activities. 

According to their managers, she’d just finished moving her bags back into the dorm and was heading over to begin practicing for their comeback with the group.

Sooyoung sucked in a breath, never tearing her eyes away from entrance.

“Hey unnie, you good?”

From the corner of her eye, she saw Jungeun take a seat next to her. Sooyoung gave a half-hearted nod, not expecting to say anything but her she just started talking and couldn’t stop-

“I’ve been thinking a lot about if we made the right decision. I know the company said we should keep our distance to let her recover, but maybe that wasn’t what was best for her. I feel like I could’ve done more for her.”

It was easy to believe that Haseul needed space at first, especially with Blockberry insisting that they give her just that. But as the months went on, she thought checking up on her would be a good idea, only for her schedule to be thrown off by her new Fact in Star MC job…

On reflection, Sooyoung should’ve tried harder.

“I know this is going to have the biggest effect on you, considering your… relationship together. And it’s alright if it takes some time to figure out where you two are at now.”

As a member of the leader line, Jungeun was probably the most aware of the… well, Sooyoung didn’t really know what it was she had with Haseul.  
But it was something. 

Ever since Sooyoung officially moved into the dorm, they’d gotten to know each other a lot better. Slowly, they got more comfortable around each other, and more affectionate with each other. Sometimes, Haseul would sneak out of the bigger dorm room and share a bed with Sooyoung, who never minded.

She preferred having her there, anyways. 

They were taking things at their own pace. So much so that they never really defined what they were or what they had together. Haseul was a fairly private person, so sometimes it was hard to tell what was going through her mind.

Again, Sooyoung didn’t mind. She was taking it slow, and enjoyed what they had even if it didn’t have a label.

There was one event that changed her entire perspective on things, and kept coming back to haunt her…

_Since they’d just began preparing for the new comeback, the members were tuckered out and fell asleep quickly once they’d returned to the dorm._

_Haseul opted to sleep in the same bed as Sooyoung that night, joining her once most of the others were asleep. Sooyoung scooted to give her some room to pile in._

_“I’m really looking forward to the new comeback,” she whispered to the leader, careful not to wake anyone up, “I think the concept change will be cool. What do you think?”_

_Haseul’s reply was simple. Sooyoung could feel her give a small nod against her shoulder. “I agree.”_

_Sooyoung flipped over to give her full attention to the leader. She was beautiful as always, her black hair grazing her shoulders, slightly messy from the eventful day. Her soft features contrasted with sharp chin and jaw lines._

_But looking into her eyes… something was off. They looked darker somehow. Pained._

_“Is everything alright?”_

_No words came from her this time, only another curt nod._

_It was clear that whatever was bothering her, she wasn’t ready to talk about it. Sooyoung didn’t want to pry; she just wanted Haseul to know that she was here for her._

_“Wake me up if you need anything. Goodnight, Haseul.”  
Sooyoung leaned closer, giving the other girl a kiss on the lips. It had become a standard thing between them, though Haseul had yet to initiate a kiss._

_Pulling away, there was a new look on Haseul’s face that Sooyoung couldn’t place. Her gaze was distant, almost. Sooyoung wondered if she had done something wrong._

_“Goodnight, Sooyoung.” Haseul whispered, her eyes fluttering shut._

_Sooyoung fell asleep soon after, but stirred to the sound of sobbing coming from beside her.  
Once her vision finally adjusted to the pitch black room, she saw that Haseul was sitting upright. _

_“Haseul?”_

_The girl froze, furiously swatting at her cheeks. Sooyoung pulled herself into a sitting position, wrapping an arm around the leader. “Talk to me, Haseul. I’m worried about you.”_

_It took awhile for her to calm down enough to be able to speak. Sooyoung rubbed soothing circles into her back, and slowly the sobbing got quieter. However, if the lights were on, she was certain she would see tears still trailing down her cheeks._

_“I’m sorry-” Haseul started, her voice clipped and watery. “I’m really sorry, Sooyoung…”_

_“What are you sorry for?” Sooyoung didn’t understand how she hadn’t noticed that Haseul was hurting this much when she seemed fine all day._

_What could she have possibly missed?_

_There were a few minutes of silence, Haseul trying to control her breathing.  
Finally, she turned to Sooyoung, and even in the dark her desperate expression was unmistakable._

_“The members deserve better. You deserve better, Sooyoung.”_

_Her words were a jab straight to the heart at what Haseul could be implying with that. Instinctively, she pulled her into a protective hug._

_“We love you Haseul. I love you Haseul. You know that, don’t you?”_

_Again, silence. For what it was worth, she did untense slightly, relaxing into Sooyoung’s touch._

_“I don’t want you to think that you can’t talk to me about these things. I want to help, Haseul. I had no idea you were feeling this way. I’m still not positive about what's going on, but I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”  
Laying back down, Haseul snuggled closer into Sooyoung for comfort. “Thank you.” Her voice was still small, but it was also more stable than before._

_Sooyoung stayed awake until the leader’s occasional sniffs turned into even breathing, signifying that she was asleep. Even as she fell asleep herself, she refused to drop out of the embrace._

That morning, Sooyoung expected to address what had happened with Haseul. More than anything, she just wanted to help her feel alright again.

When Haseul was making breakfast that morning, comfortably chatting with Vivi and Yeojin, she figured that she would want to talk about things in a more private setting and not in front of all of the members.

But she couldn’t get even a minute alone with her.  
Haseul was still acting like her normal smiling and supportive self, and Sooyoung was the only one who witnessed the struggle underneath that. 

She was distant, and never brought up what happened between them.

Sooyoung was so scared that she even confided in Jungeun, albeit keeping things anonymous and impersonal. Her advice was to talk to the person no matter how much they were denying it, and if they refused to talk, then turn to the company.

Before she could even apply the first part of her advice, Haseul was gone.

Sooyoung was really conflicted when she left. A part of her was disappointed that she hadn’t said goodbye, and wondered if she was ever going to come back…  
But she was happy she was getting help. Sooyoung was lucky to have her members to cheer her up, and with the comeback on the horizon there were other things to focus on.

When the faint sounds of footsteps started approaching, she was shook from her thoughts. She had no idea how long she’d been dwelling for, but it left her unprepared for what was about to happen.

Jungeun gave Sooyoung a small smile, rising to her feet. The latter followed suit, her heart drumming against her ribcage. 

“Hello…?”

It was her.

Haseul rounded the corner, a little timid, but with a big smile on her face.  
She was pretty as always: her hair had grown a few inches past her shoulders, a bit longer than it had been cut for Butterfly. The length suited her well.

The most noticeable difference was in the way she carried herself. Her steps were small and careful, probably because she was nervous which she couldn’t be blamed for, but her head was held high and she had a certain confidence to the way she walked.

It was great to see. 

“Haseul unnie!”

Yeojin leapt up from her sitting position, running over to the leader and basically tackling her into a hug. Haseul laughed, looking a little choked up as she returned the hug. “I missed you, Yeojinie.” 

She momentarily pulled away to inspect the younger girl. “You’ve gotten taller, haven’t you?”

Yeojin nodded enthusiastically. “A whole half an inch.”

Before Haseul could even laugh at that, Yeojin pulled her into another hug and it didn’t seem like she was letting go anytime soon. 

“I’m glad you’re back.” Vivi stepped up to the duo, joining in on the hug.

Organically, everyone joined into the group hug. Confliction feelings aside, it felt amazing to be twelve again. 

It felt great to be whole again.

Needless to say, everyone got emotional and the group hug lasted well past ten minutes.

It was Yerim who broke the hug and suggested that they start practicing, excited to show Haseul the moves she’d come up with for the choreography.

Even as everyone got into position, Sooyoung took this brief opportunity to talk to Haseul, almost out of fear that she would never get the chance like what happened last time.

Walking up to Haseul, she was actually the first to speak.  
“Hey. Do you think we could talk at lunch?” She bit her lip, adding a quiet “I promise” onto her question as if she sensed the other girl’s worries.

“I’d like that.” Sooyoung replied. She left it at that for now, turning towards the mirror to start practice.  
She did help with leading the practice like she normally did, but now more than ever was Sooyoung happy that she had Jungeun and Yerim to rely on to help out. Yerim was especially excited: she’d always been a sort of prodigy, and it was clear she was passionate about dance.

For once, practice couldn’t end faster for Sooyoung.

When it finally did end, Haseul found her way over to the dance leader. They grabbed their lunches and made their way into an empty room that was usually used for presentations in the building.

Sooyoung finally had a moment alone with her, after all of these months. 

Quietly sitting on an empty bench, Haseul tucked some stray hair behind her ear. Just being next to her amplified her intense feelings, and Sooyoung could feel herself getting teary again.

“I missed you, Haseul.”

Maybe it went without saying, but Sooyoung had to say it. 

Because, gosh, had she missed the way Haseul’s hair fell in front of her face. Whenever it happened and Sooyoung was next to her, she used to push her hair away for her (sometimes intentionally messing it up, which always made Haseul adorably pouty). She missed the little gags she did to make her members laugh. The bowling move was Sooyoung’s favourite… for obvious reasons.

She missed how much attention she gave to each member, and knew how to cheer each of them up. She missed her caring nature, she missed when they would stay late together so Haseul could practice her dance technique, she missed the way she would run her finger down Sooyoung’s palm when they held hands, the way her cheeks would turn pink after they kissed…

She pulled the leader into a hug.

Haseul accepted, but wasn’t reciprocating the hug the way she normally did. It was… different. 

“I missed you guys too.” She pulled away, inching back slightly on the bench.

“I’m really sorry about how I left things. The way I did that, it wasn’t right, and it was something I thought about a lot while I was recovering from my anxiety.”

Sooyoung’s instinct was to reach for her hand, but with Haseul’s different demeanour she opted not to do that. Instead, she said, “I’m glad you got the help you needed. I’m sorry I never came to visit you: I wanted to give you the space you needed, but I should’ve asked what you wanted.”

“Honestly, there were points where I wondered if you all forgot about me… but I’m in a much better place now, and coming in today proved those thoughts wrong.”

She fidgeted with her hands a bit, getting to the point of the conversation. “What we had before all of this happened, even if we never defined it because of my hesitation...” As the sentence stretched, Haseul raised her brown eyes to meet Sooyoung’s. “I loved you, Sooyoung. And I still do… but it’s been a long time, and I don’t know if it’s the same kind of love anymore.”

Sooyoung would be lying if she said she hadn’t felt her heart tear at that moment. But Haseul deserved to be heard and respected after everything she’d been through.

“I’m going to take a few weeks to figure things out. Reorient myself, now that I’ve worked through some stuff. When I’m ready - if I’m ready, I’ll let you know.”

Sooyoung nodded. “Take your time.”

Haseul let out a breath, and the heavy atmosphere lessened. She took it as an opportunity to change the subject. “How has Fact in Star been? I think you were the perfect choice as the host.”

The conversation turned casual. It was really nice to catch up with Haseul, even if things would be different moving forward.

With the weight of needing to apologize off of her shoulders, it had been replaced with her muddled feelings about their relationship changing. She definitely respected whatever Haseul wanted, but the uncertainty of navigating a new relationship was also nerve-wracking.

And what if Haseul decided that she didn’t want Sooyoung in her life in any capacity at all?

After seven months without her, Sooyoung wasn’t sure she could lose her again.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks later, the group was in the best state that Sooyoung had ever seen them in. Preparing for the comeback was part of it, but Haseul was undeniably the biggest factor. 

It was most noticeable with Yeojin. Haseul spent the majority of her free time with the maknae. They were very close before Haseul went on a break; if there was one person who was as upset as Sooyoung about her leaving, it was her.

It was harder to pinpoint for Sooyoung, who’d seen her grow naturally, but Yeojin was seeming less like the fifteen year old who debuted and more like an adult everyday. She understood why Haseul would want to catch up with her.  
Yeojin was at her most energetic, and could rarely be seen without a smile on her face.

And of course, getting their leader back really comforted the other members. Haseul was very emotionally intelligent, something Sooyoung admired very much. She made everyone feel heard and took care of everyone well, which boosted morale while preparing for the comeback.

What warmed Sooyoung’s heart the most was the change in Haseul herself.

She was still doing the same things she’d always done. Making the members laugh, honing her skills. It was the way she did them that was different. Her advice was a lot more confident, as was her conviction while she was singing and dancing.

Sooyoung hoped this meant that she finally noticed how talented she was: socially and in her skills. She earned the right to be confident through all of her hard work.

That night after practice, Sooyoung was going over her notes for the Fact in Star recording the next day. They didn’t have scripts in a technical sense: only a rundown of what would happen during the interview and some talking points. She always tried to pay extra attention when a rookie group was the guest, wanting to give them the best chance they had in such a competitive market.

Haseul emerged from the kitchen area, taking a seat next to Sooyoung. Peering over the older girl’s shoulder to look at the papers, she asked, “What are you working on?”

“Fact in Star. I’m pretty excited for this episode: it’s the first time we’re having a group that hasn’t debuted yet.”

Haseul scanned the paper. “Oh, you’re interviewing Purple Kiss? Mamamoo’s sister group. They’re all going to be amazing singers.”

“RBW does know how to train their vocalists,” Sooyoung agreed, “But I’m not sure any of them are on the level of a professionally trained opera singer.”

The leader dismissed the compliment with a wave of her hand. Sooyoung felt her heart flutter when she noticed the faint blush on Haseul’s cheeks, but she tried her best to not think about it.

It wasn’t like that anymore.

“Whether they’re opera singers or not, I hope you have a good time. I think it’s so cool you’ll get to interact with them before they debut.”

A thought occurred to Sooyoung.  
“How about you come with me?”

When Haseul didn’t answer right away, she added: “Only if you want to, of course. I’m allowed to have guests stay in the back room behind the set, and there’s a screen so you could watch the interview too. But I know we’re busy with comeback preparations-”

Sooyoung stopped her rambling when Haseul looked her in the eyes. “I’d love to go,” She was sincere in her words, “I just already promised Yeojin that we’d stay in and watch movies together.”

She was momentarily disappointed until she came up with a solution. “We could invite Yeojin too. I don’t know how much her heart was set on movies, or if she’d rather do something different since she’s already been on the show once with Yerim...”

Haseul smiled. “She’s talked to me a lot about that day. I think she’d like to tag along.”

And that’s how Sooyoung ended up in front of the studio with two of her members. Yeojin was enthusiastically pointing out things to Haseul, which amused Sooyoung since she took the role of the tour guide after only being in the building once.  
She was just happy they both seemed excited.

After checking them both in as her guests, they had some time before Sooyoung had to be on set.

“Do you think we could go backstage?” Yeojin requested.

Sooyoung raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Wouldn’t you rather walk around for a bit since you’ll be back there while I’m recording?”

All in the span of a few seconds, the maknae’s expression turned conflicted, then back to self-assured. “That’s true… but you won’t be there with us. I thought that we could check out some of the games together.”

She really didn’t expect to be so touched by her comment in the middle of a disagreement of what they should do before going on air.  
Haseul agreed with her idea, prompting Sooyoung to say, “Alright… as long as you’re okay with losing.”

It wasn’t surprising that Yeojin loved the waiting room so much. It was filled to the brim with games and activities, even more so now than during the first show they did.

The blonde went straight for the deck of uno cards on the shelf. She handed them to Haseul, who shuffled and dealt them.  
Immediately, Yeojin hit Sooyoung with a pick up two card, setting it down with a giggle.

“You’re gonna play like that? I see how it is.”

A few turns later, Sooyoung got the younger girl back with a pick up four. She tried to pout, but she couldn’t hold it for more than two seconds before her smile shone through. “Get her, Haseul unnie!”

“Don’t pull me into your rivalry,” Haseul innocently put down a five, letting Sooyoung take her turn.

They played a few rounds, Haseul winning the majority of them just by virtue of nobody targeting her. They also played Operation: Yeojin even admitted outright that she probably wasn’t going to win this game.

Sooyoung understood what she meant when she screamed and threw her tweezers in the air whenever the machine would buzz. She would have been concerned about being scolded by the staff had she and Haseul not been doubled over in laughter.

Haseul had her own quirks while playing the game: namely, it would take minutes for her to pull out the piece because of how hard she concentrated.

The opportunity was too perfect to pass up.

While she leaned over the table, Sooyoung snaked an arm around her back.

“Boo!”

Haseul screamed even louder than Yeojin, flipping the game board off of the table. It went tumbling to the ground, the pieces sliding across the floor.

She and Yeojin burst into a fit of laughter, Haseul glaring daggers beside her. “SOOYOUNG!”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized once she caught her breath, but she probably didn’t sound sincere. “It was just too perfect…”

“You’re insufferable.” Haseul rolled her eyes, but the smile tugging at her lips told Sooyoung that she wasn’t actually mad.

“It’s too bad you’re stuck with me, then-“

Sooyoung was interrupted by a throw pillow smacking her in the face.

“Hey!”

As Haseul continued pummeling her, Sooyoung scrambled for the other pillow. Before she could grab it, Yeojin took it and joined in on the fight.

“I thought you were on my side!”

“There are no sides in pillow fights! It's a free-for-all!”

They were merciless in their attacks. They chased her around the room, which was already pretty small to begin with. Sooyoung was left to try and defend herself with a blanket, which was the sleepover equivalent of bringing a knife to a gunfight.

After a bunch of swinging at each other, the three grew tired and collapsed back onto the sofa.

Hearing Yeojin and Haseul’s muffled laughter made her release how much she’d been missing out on these past few months.

She’d been so focused on her new job, her training, and helping out around the dorm in Haseul’s absence that she never took the time to just have fun.

Yeojin was having a great time, and maybe she would’ve noticed that during their first show if she wasn’t so preoccupied. They could’ve made it into an outing together, but she didn’t even pick up on it.

And Haseul… she looked so carefree. Like there was nothing that was weighing her down.

If Sooyoung had to compare it to anything, she’d say it was like losing the ability to see colour. Now that Haseul was back, she could see the vivid blues and purples and greens everywhere and never wanted to give it up again.

Even if it wasn’t in a romantic way. Haseul’s presence in her life at all was a blessing.

While she picked up the pieces of the Operation game, Jaehwan entered the waiting room to tell her it was time to get ready to film. 

“Have fun, unnie!” Yeojin piped up sweetly. Sooyoung ruffled the younger girl’s hair affectionately in reply.

Then she felt a hand slowly lace with her own. She turned her head to find Haseul smiling up at her.  
“You’ll do great, I know you will.”

Waving, Sooyoung headed off with her co-host, hoping that nobody would notice the heat in her cheeks.

As expected, Purple Kiss did well during their interview. They had so much talent that Sooyoung knew they were going to do amazing once they debuted.

When she was finally wrapped for the night, she headed backstage. Haseul and Yeojin were finishing cleaning up the board games.

“That was so great!” She immediately forgot about tidying when she noticed Sooyoung, “I loved it when you sang Starry Night with them. Haseul unnie and I cheered for you from back here, I don’t know if you heard us.”

Sooyoung thanked Yeojin for her compliment. After Haseul shoved the last board game onto it’s place, she added, “You could tell that you prepared for this. It was a lot of fun to watch.”

They were all pretty hungry from being in the studio all day, so they headed back to the dorm soon after.

Heading outside to catch their ride, Yeojin ran a bit ahead while Haseul and Sooyoung hung back. There was a modest crowd of fans gathered outside of the recording studio, but not so many that it stopped them from conversing.

“I just wanted to thank you for inviting us along.” Haseul shyly tucked some hair behind her ear.

Sooyoung gestured to Yeojin. “I’m glad she enjoyed it more than watching Doctor Strange,” she laughed, turning to Haseul, “I’m really happy you could make it.”

They locked eyes for what felt like forever. Her pretty, deep brown eyes and soft lips made her forget about the world around her…

...Until she was jerked out of her thoughts by an older fan’s arm jetting out from the crowd and gripping onto Yeojin’s wrist.

They mustn't have held on for more than five seconds before the bodyguard intervened, but it was long enough for a look of sheer horror to wash across Haseul’s face.  
The guards tightened their formation all the way to the van.

Once they piled inside, Haseul took a seat next to the maknae. Sooyoung didn’t mind: it was very Haseul to want to comfort her members. Honestly, she was kind of at a loss for how to handle things herself so she was thankful for the leader’s presence.

“Are you alright?”

The girl nodded, albeit with a lot less energy than she had before. “I’m fine. I don’t think they meant to hurt me, they were just excited…”

The worry lines on Haseul’s forehead didn’t go away. “Can I see your wrist, Yeojinie?”

“I’m fine, unnie…” Yeojin repeated, a hint of protest seeping into her voice. She ended up showing her wrist to the older girl. Sooyoung didn’t have a great vantage point to see Yeojin’s arm herself, but Haseul didn’t look anymore distraught, at least.

She seamlessly changed the subject to asking Yeojin whether she’d ever like to MC in the future which cut most of the tension from the air.

Even if Yeojin looked more comfortable, there was still a tightness to the way Haseul held herself that Sooyoung could tell she was trying to push down. 

They returned to an empty dorm. The other members had gone out to eat together, leaving the three of them alone. Haseul went straight into the kitchen to start making dinner. Sooyoung followed, helping to gather the ingredients.

“Do you want to sit for a little bit? I can cook tonight, I don’t mind.” 

She looked like she wanted to protest, and for a second Sooyoung thought she might. But in the end she gave a small nod and left the room.

Sooyoung made the soup in silence. It was her go-to when it was her turn to cook for the members: she’d actually learned it from Haseul by watching her make it. But even as she was laddeling the soup into bowls, the leader didn’t return.

“Yeojin-ah! Dinner!”

The maknae came skipping into the room. “Samgyetang! Thank you, Sooyoung unnie.”

Sooyoung was glad to see her chipper, even after what happened. 

“It’s not a problem, it didn’t take that long to make.” 

“No-” Yeojin shook her head, a grateful smile on her face, “Just… thank you. For today. I had a lot of fun with you and Yerim at the recording and wanted to go back, but you were so busy with everything… so I’m really glad you invited me with Haseul unnie.”

“... I guess I was pretty distracted, huh?” Sooyoung admitted, slightly embarrassed. 

“Not distracted,” Yeojin insisted, “Busy. You have a lot of responsibilities, even more so then. Even if you don’t realize it, you took care of us well.”

“I don’t know…” Sooyoung’s voice trailed, “I feel like I was less involved with the group after everything happened. If anything, I would’ve thought Vivi was the person who took care of you the most.”

“Vivi did help a lot, she was a good friend to me. I could talk to her about what I was feeling. Maybe it wasn’t like that with us, but you help in a different way. You keep everyone organized. You make sure we’re making progress in our skills, even when we don’t have anything to prepare for. Even when you started hosting the show, you never stopped.”

Sooyoung took her words in. Honestly, the things Yeojin listed weren’t things she actively made herself do: it was a routine she fell into when Haseul went on break.  
It kept her occupied.

She didn’t expect her actions to have any noticeable effect on her members, certainly not to the point of being praised for it.

“It’s sweet that you noticed Yeojinie, thank you.”

She nodded enthusiastically, ready to take her soup and head out of the room. Lingering at the door, she finally turned around and blurted:

“Is Haseul unnie okay? I don’t know why she seemed so down. I’m not hurt, I swear.”

Sooyoung shook her head. “I think there might be something else…” She grabbed the two bowls she fixed up for Haseul and herself, “I’m going to talk to her now.”

Yeojin wished her good luck, heading over to the living room to relax while eating her dinner. Sooyoung went off to the larger bedroom to hopefully find the leader.

“Haseul?”

Her only reply was hearing faint labored breaths from behind the door. Sooyoung opted to push it open with her foot, slowly walking into the room.

Her eyes immediately fell on Haseul. She was sitting at the edge of the bed, gripping the mattress so tightly that her knuckles were white. Her body was extremely tense, but she was taking regular deep breaths as if she’d done it a thousand times before.

Setting the bowls onto a nearby dresser, Sooyoung took a seat next to the leader. In this position, she was finally able to meet the girl’s bloodshot eyes. 

“Can I help?”

Haseul turned her head at the sound of her voice. She continued her breathing pattern, blinking the tears out of her eyes.  
She seemed hesitant at first, but ultimately nodded her head at the offer.

Sooyoung gently wrapped an arm around Haseul’s middle. She took both of the younger girl’s hands in hers to stop her from clenching them so hard.  
This got Haseul to untense. She fell into the embrace, curling into Sooyoung’s side.

Slowly, her eyes lost their red tint and her breathing returned to normal.

Haseul pulled away when she was ready. “T-thank you.”

“What’s going on? I know it’s always been hard for you to talk about your anxiety, and I don’t want to force you. I just want you to know that I’m here, and I’m not going to judge you for anything you tell me.”

It was a blessing and a curse: Haseul’s ability to be an amazing listener made it hard for her to communicate her own feelings. 

“I…” Haseul swallowed hard, the situation clearly being uncharted territory for her. She wasn’t avoiding the question though, only trying to collect her thoughts. “I know Yeojin is okay, but I was really scared for her… it’s stupid, and I know that, but I can’t help it… it felt like it was my fault.”

She shrunk back, as if she was expecting to be chided for speaking up.

“I’m sorry that it feels like that for you.” Sooyoung didn’t have all of the knowledge in the world about how Haseul’s anxiety affected her, but she did know that it would be pointless to be upset with her over thoughts she couldn’t control. All that mattered was that it felt real to her.

“I know this won’t instantly change the way you process things, but I just want you to hear me say that it wasn’t your fault because it might help you believe it. You couldn’t have known that fan was going to do that, and even if you did, there was no way you could’ve stopped them.”  
“I’ve gotten better about catastrophizing things… but I guess that situation was too much for me. I think it might be because of the other guilty feelings I’ve been having about Yeojin recently.”

Taking a page from Haseul’s book, Sooyoung simply tilted her head to continue listening. She didn’t want to interrupt, she only wanted to be there for her.

“I think taking a break when I did was a good step for me. But getting back from hiatus… it really made me realize how much I’ve missed out on with her. We’ve always been very close, and I never meant to leave her like I did. I wish I could be there for her more.”

“It’s clear that she means the world to you, and I know she knows that too. You shouldn’t feel guilty for taking a break to focus on yourself. In my eyes,the time you took off was a positive for your friendship with her: these weeks you two have been at your happiest, especially when you’re together. ”

Slowly, the leader nodded. “It does feel different, now that I’ve been recovering. It’s easier to believe that you guys really do enjoy my company.”

“Thank goodness, because it’s true.” Sooyoung stated

A smile tugged at Haseul’s lips. “Thanks for helping me to calm down. I know I wasn’t great at communication before, but I’m going to try my best to work on it from now on. I really do trust you, Sooyoung… sometimes I just don’t trust myself.”

A comfortable silence settled between the two of them, which finally made Sooyoung take note of the way her heart was beating a mile a minute. Haseul was looking at her with her shy brown eyes that made Sooyoung jittery on the inside. When her hair fell back in front of her face, Sooyoung couldn’t help but fall back into muscle memory. 

She leaned closer, reaching to tuck the black hair behind Haseul’s ear.

That’s when Haseul broke the silence. “...You know how I just said I would try and talk to you more?”

Sooyoung was a bit confused (and distracted), but nodded anyways.

“I think, in this instance, my actions speak louder than my words.”

And Haseul leaned in, kissing Sooyoung on the lips.

It was all a whirlwind for Sooyoung, who was definitely not expecting her to do that. The kiss was deep, yet still soft and caring. It exacerbated Sooyoung’s jitters into full-blown butterflies.

It was almost a disappointment when Haseul ended the kiss, until she got to see her adorably flushed face and her shining brown eyes.

“I love you, Sooyoung. Will you be my girlfriend?”

Sooyoung had to bite down on her lip to stop herself from gasping.

Instead of doing that, she decided it was her turn to use her actions to respond. She went in for a second kiss, and while not as astounding as the first, still really freaking amazing.

“... That was a yes, if it wasn’t clear.”

Haseul let out a melodic laugh. “I’m glad we’re finally official.”

Sooyoung whole-heartedly agreed.

The leader’s eyes trailed over to the dresser, where the soup bowls were still sitting. “I guess the food is cool now… sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Sooyoung smirked jokingly, “You’ll just have to go and make us more.”

Haseul glared, reaching for a pillow next to her. This time, Sooyoung was ready for it and grabbed the pillow on Heejin’s bed that was adjacent to them. “This isn’t going to work twice.”

They stood at a sort of stalemate, the younger girl trying to figure out her next move. Then, she yelled:

“YEOJIN-AH! I know you said there’s no teams in pillow fighting, but I could really use your help…!”

For as happy as Haseul and Yeojin had been all day, Sooyoung would bet everything that neither of them reached the level of elation she had in that moment. 

Joking around with her beautiful girlfriend, who’d just kissed her first…

It was the best new normal that Sooyoung could’ve hoped for.

(Even if it meant being clobbered by pillows for the second time that day).


End file.
